An Open Letter to Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz

Dear Mr. Schultz,

As a long-time Starbucks patron and lover of all things caffeinated, let me say that I am excited about your return to Starbucks and hopeful that you know what it takes to fix a marquee brand that's heading in the wrong direction.

Please know that I am not a "Starbucks Hater." There are a lot of things Starbucks does right. The product is superb. The branding is even better. The convenience is remarkable. But there are some things that have crept into your company that threaten to undermine everything that once made a cup of Starbucks coffee such a great experience. You're a very busy, very rich guy, so I won't waste any more of your time with a wordy introduction.

I've patronized Starbucks stores for years and from sea to shining sea. Here's what I consider to be the four things wrong with Starbucks, which unless corrected swiftly, will irreparably damage Starbucks. Correct these four items and you will return Starbucks to its former glory.

First, Starbucks is too dirty. That's right, your stores are filthy, and some of them even smell...badly. I remember several years ago, it seemed like there was a barista dedicated to keeping the windows clean, the floors swept, the bathrooms spotless, and the tables crumb-less. Nowadays, the only clean Starbucks I see are the newly opened ones. I'm afraid to touch anything in the store, and there's usually enough leftover pastry on each table to make for a filling treat. And it's not just the tables and windows and floors and bathrooms. It's the equipment. Dirty equipment brews dirty coffee, and some of us can tell when the equipment hasn't been cleaned simply by the taste of our "Tall Bold No Room".

Second, Starbucks is too cramped. I remember when a person could sit down in a Starbucks and comfortably enjoy a cup of coffee. There were soft chairs and room to cross your legs. Those days are long gone. The soft chairs have disappeared and the stores have shrunk. To make matters worse, Starbucks seems to be trying to set a Guinness World Record for how many tables, chairs and kiosks they can fit into 200 square feet. Cross my legs in a comfy chair? I can't even push away from one of those cursed, crumb-covered tables without banging into one of five kiosks jammed into the narrow walking path between the front door and the register.

Third, Starbucks is too loud. The relationship Starbucks has developed with Apple is not necessarily a bad one. Music played in a coffee shop is good. Music played in a coffee shop at Guantanamo torture levels is bad. When I can't hear the music playing directly into my ears from my iPod, the house music is too loud. When I have to learn lip-reading just to carry on a conversation with someone sitting directly across from me, the house music is too loud. When I can't process my own thoughts, the house music is too loud. It's a coffee shop, for goodness sake, not a rave. I should be allowed to converse with another human being. I should be allowed to read. I should be allowed to sit alone in quiet contemplation. Please...for the love of all that is sensible and peaceable in the world, just turn the knob slightly to the left!

Finally, Starbucks is too corporate. You must downsize!!!! There aren't enough quality baristas (at the current pay level you offer) to staff all three trillion Starbucks in the United States. Start your downsizing by closing every Starbucks "store" that's located within another store (i.e. Kroger, Fry's, Basha's, Target, et. al). The quality of the product received at these pseudo-Starbucks is by and large supremely inferior to the product served at a real Starbucks. You will dramatically improve the product, protect the brand, and correct the inadequacies in service by this one act alone. Next, quit making excuses about security and quality and provide free Internet access at all of your stores. If every "Mom and Pop Shop" in America can offer this service at no charge to its customers, why can't Starbucks? There's so much more that could fall into this category. Think locally. Make coffee the main thing again. Price competitively.

Mr Schultz, as a long-time, loyal customer, trust me. If you address these four issues - too dirty, too cramped, too loud, and too corporate - you will save Starbucks. If you don't, American free enterprise will correct the issue for you. Things are so bad now that if there were somewhere else to go, I would. I predict that one day very soon, there will be many viable options to the once-pleasurable Starbucks experience.

One more thing. Please kill all of the annoying "The Way I See It..." drivel. It's preachy, pompous, pointless, shallow, self-important, and annoying. I don't need witty comments from celebrities straining to say something with a semblance of substance in order to "spark conversation", as your website puts it. I just need a good cup of coffee, a moderately quiet place, and a comfy chair.

Your Customer,

Mark