Friday, July 07, 2006

My Name Is Mark, And I Am A French American

For those of you who don't know - which is just about everyone reading this - I can trace my lineage all the way back to the year 1630 and a town in France called Poitiers. Yes, that's right. I am a French American, and do you know what that means? That means while your ancestors were fighting to secure the liberty of a fledgling nation in the New World, mine were hiding in the woods, skinning cute, furry rodents, and impregnating indian maidens.

But thanks to the World Cup, my pride in the motherland has been renewed! Forget all that stuff about surrendering to Hitler at just the sight of his funny little mustache and then taking credit for the liberation of Paris. Forget not supporting the war on terror, refusing air space to our fighter jets, and bankrolling Sadaam Hussein and other world tyrants. Forget covering up Princess Di's murder. Forget putting the moves on our First Lady. This is the World Cup, and according to Bono, all that stuff goes out the door. So, viva la France!

Does this mean I can stop boycotting French fries now? Who am I fooling? Look at my gut. I haven't been boycotting anything.

Italia? Puh-leeeeeeze! There's only two things they've given us: organized religion and organized crime.

Wait, that's one thing.

6 comments:

Superkraut said...

But the Italians have been the most consistent team in the tournament when it comes to having the most attractive female fans cheering them on, game after game. So, Forza Italia!!!

Superkraut said...

Apart from Germany, of course.

HONEY said...

That one made me laugh myself right off the sofa! :-)

T-Bone said...

hilarious!

Superkraut said...

Boo yah!

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Please don't head butt me.

Rob said...

Sorry the French didn't take the world cup... Don't be ashamed! Check out this post. Maybe it will help you have more pride in your heritage. :-)

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