Is He Enough?

"Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Which is more important to me: that the power of Christ rests upon me or that the thorn in my flesh is removed? Have I reached the point where intimacy with Christ – His power, His presence, and His grace in my life – is more important than having my infirmities healed? Would I choose to have the stake that pierces my soul removed if it meant losing the power of Christ resting upon me?

I have to confess that I’m not sure what I’d do if given that tempting choice. There are things in my life right now that I would give almost anything for the Lord to "fix". There are wounds that for years I’ve begged Him to heal. I’m so glad nobody knows for sure exactly what Paul’s thorn in the flesh was. It makes it easier for me to imagine that his infirmity may have been very much like mine.

Taking up one’s cross and following after Christ is a hard thing!

Jesus never told a lie, but sometimes I wonder exactly what He meant when He said, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Right now, the yoke doesn’t feel easy at all, and the burden is a heavier one than I ever imagined I could bear, and I’m not so foolish as to believe that all of this won’t keep getting harder and heavier.

Lord, I don’t question whether or not You’re really there, and I don’t even question whether or not You are in control. So the only thing I can do is confess that I’m not going to make it unless You carry me. I’m waiting for the power. Help me to understand the freeing power that comes from knowing Your grace is sufficient, not only to carry me through this hardship with supernatural strength, but also to allow me to approach You with my fears and doubts about what You are doing in my life.

I want to believe that intimacy with Christ is all-sufficient. Lord, help my unbelief.